Shleykes (Suspenders) They Ain’t What They Used to be.

Suspenders are for old folks.

Only people with potbellies wear suspenders.

Farmers wear suspenders.

Suspenders are only black or brown.

Fishl was sold on them the first time he went through the security line at the airport wearing his new suspenders with plastic clips.

Imagine the old-fashioned way of going through the line pulling a rolling suitcase, holding your shoes, boarding pass, and metal-buckle belt while trying to hold your pants up to prevent them from falling down. It was a no-brainer. Without having to take the belt off, holding it, or having to hold the pants up, going through the security line became much easier. All that is needed now, is to have shoes that don’t need to be removed.

As for styles and colors, take my word for it they abound like fish in the sea. Just looking at only one suspender catalog, you can see classics, contractors, corporate, designer formal, industrial, Jacquard, leather, maternity, outdoorsman, silk, stripes, tradesman, under-ups, and finally URBAN YOUTH.

When ordering, it is like an automobile, you have many choices. You select; style, color and pattern, length, type and number of clips. Not only are there all the colors of the rainbow, but every pattern imaginable.

If you are embarrassed to have your friends see you wearing shleykes, they even have the soft kind that you can wear under your shirt.

Men, you can envy your wife, girlfriend, or the other woman with big hips and a tiny waist, their pants don’t fall down.

Confucius Was Jewish

Well, if he really wasn’t, he should have been.

Yesterday I came across one of his sayings that is the most profound and yet common sense that I have heard. It summarizes my life and one of the best bits of advice one could give.

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

Watch kids play. They are full of laughter and really enjoying themselves. Thus comes the question, what is play? It must be anything you really enjoy.

This can be extended to be around people you enjoy and avoid those who do not bring you happiness. Remember, to have friends whom you enjoy, you yourself must be joyful.

Of course it is not always possible to be around only people who are pleasant and we cannot always do only pleasant tasks. The answer then is to make the tasks and the people as pleasant as possible. If it is the job, think of the rewards. It could be the money you make or the good you do. If it is a person, challenges yourself to see if you can make that person laugh or be nicer. You may be surprised that person may be hurting and looking for a kind word, or even a friend.

Lateral Thinking: Lessons in Problem Solving

            During the Summer of 1965, we were returning home to New Jersey. We had to go through Wheeling, West Virginia.  It was a hot and muggy day in August, and we hit stand-still traffic two miles out of the city. Several of us decided to walk ahead and find out what caused the delay.

            When we arrived at the source of our problem, it proved to be a large tractor-trailer that had been jammed under a railroad overpass.  Asking a police officer at the scene, we learned that several attempts to move the tractor-trailer had failed.

            A six year-old boy kept coming over and saying, "Mister, I can get the trailer out".  He received annoyed responses, "Sonny can't you see we're busy".  When the irate mayor arrived, there was a hush in the crowd, and you could hear the little boy saying, "But I can get it out".  Finally the mayor in frustration said, "OK, sonny how're you going to do it?"  The little boy took his mother's hairpin and proceeded to let some air out of the tires.  This lowered the tractor-trailer, and it was easily driven out.

            The second story was in reference to a new six-story apartment house in Manhattan, during the Great Depression.  It begun renting when complaints came in to the management about the elevator.  It seems that it took the elevator too long to arrive.

            An engineering analysis determined that a second elevator was needed.  This is simple to do when a building is in the early construction phase, it's another matter to in a completed building.

            First, the architect would have had to make a set of drawings removing a section of an apartment on each floor. In addition to the inconvenience, noise and dirt would be produced.  The owner would have had the cost of construction, and the loss due to reduced rentals on the smaller units.

            My dad told me how this problem was solved.  A woman came to the landlord and said she could solve the problem.  She needed $100 for labor and material, and asked $100 for the idea. This is what the woman did.

            She placed a mirror alongside the elevator door, on each level. When a person came and pushed the button, he/she looked in the mirror and this time took the edge off, permitting a longer delay than was acceptable prior to the mirror installation.

            What is the message in this last story?  The problem was not stated correctly.  It wasn't that the elevator moved too slowly.  It wasn't that there weren't enough elevators.  The problem was in the perception of time by the waiting tenants.   

            Look for novel ideas.  Look at your problem as if YOU were a stranger. Often the solution is simple. It is coming from a different perspective—lateral thinking.

Litvaks are from Mars and …

John Gray’s book, Men are from Mars, Women from Venus was published in 1992 and now again has come in handy.

While back East, Sally and I were greatly benefitted by the Marriage Encounter program that helps couples have an even better marriage through dialog in a 10 and 10 activity. When we retired in 1984 and moved to Sunny California there was no convenient group nearby and the 10 and 10 soon ceased.

In 1991 the 7-year itch reared its ugly head and looking for a new challenge, Der Bay was born. The following year Gray’s book did wonders.

Now, in 2011 this book has brought new insights. As my sight fails, I’ve turned to talking books from BARD: Braille and Audio Reading Download.

This time the comparison between men and women, and Litvaks and Galitsianers came loud and clear. YIVO’s standard orthography and Weinreich’s dictionary are patterned after the northern Litvak dialect.

Men are problem solvers, speak less, and want to be alone when confronting problems. On the other hand women search for other women to “talk things out.”

The Galitsianer dialect is used in song and stage. These southerners are warm, homey folk unlike we aloof, intellectual, aristocratic Litvaks.

Of course there are exceptions--just like among men and women. I wish I were born a full "Galits" and not half-and-half.

Thank you John for the added insight the second time around.

The Real 6 Senses: Common Sense, The 6th Sense

So, what are our senses, and what about our sixth sense?

1. Sight - This is the ability to see through false statements. It is the ability to look through rosy glasses and see the best in people and opportunities. It is the ability to make the most of bad situations.

2. Sound - This is the ability to hear the true meaning of what is being said. It is listening to others, and hearing their frustrations and fears. It is the awareness of the beauty in music and being able to differentiate it from the noise that is purported to be music.

3. Smell - It is the ability to sniff out a bad situation it is a sense of sifting out the air to differentiate the aroma of Mama’s soup vos shmekt from the rodent in the woodpile.

4. Taste - It is the beauty, or lack of it, in items like clothes, jewelry, music, etc. It is the selection we make from the gamut of the gross to the exotic. In the ultimate, it is the beauty we instill into our lives that separates the mundane from the extraordinary.

5. Touch - It is the stamp we put on things or people with whom we interact. When we put a touch on someone we are the takers, the usurpers, drainers, ruiners of humanity. On the other hand, it is the softness of Mama’s caress, the downy pillow, or the warmth of the sun on our skin.

6. Sixth Sense – Googling gives the definition as, “A supposed intuitive faculty giving awareness not explicable in terms of normal perception.” In other words, just plain intuition. I would suggest that instead we use “common sense” as the real sixth sense.

Googling “common sense” quotes results in names of famous people whom we studied in history and literature classes; Voltaire, Rene Descartes, Victor Hugo, Thomas Paine, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Ralph Waldo Emerson Oliver Wendell Holmes, Teddy Roosevelt, and Will Rogers. In more modern times they include; Gertrude Stein, Oscar Wilde, Admiral Rickover, and George Carlin.

“Common sense” is really rare and quite uncommon. It belongs to the wise and in the realm of wisdom. A perfect example is the national health debate. The solution seems to be to throw more money into the “Health System”. This is a perfect example of cognotive dissonance. While we have learned and attacked the problems of smoking and alcohol, obesity is a major problem from which The Colonel, McDonald, Wendy, Jack, Carl, Popeye, and Wimpy have become wealthy. Myriads of Americans are slowed down and die each year from the poison they advertise and feed us.

All we need to do is have a tax of a dollar on each burger and use that money to subsidize the healthy foods. Shortly our healthcare system would be self-sustaining. Let’s discard the Obama Plan and institute the Common Sense Fishl Plan. It will cost only the expense of collecting the money from the bad guys and giving it to the good guys. If you want to smoke, you pay for it. If you want to become inebriated, you pay for it. If you want to be obese, you should pay for it. No wonder we get sick on a diet of biscuits and butter, mashed potatoes soaking in gravy, French fries, hamburgers and drowned down with coke.

Let’s put big signs on these establishments with the warning, “Enter at your own peril.” Let them become true fast food havens for healthful eating. Let’s reward them for doing the right thing. Let’s become red-blooded Americans and not the ketchup and red meat Americans.

My Yiddish “Grateful Diary”

My Yiddish “Grateful Diary” is an imaginary book in which I write all the wonderful things in my life for which I am thankful.

Each morning when I first awake my thoughts are of a beautiful rose and how some people say, “Yes, but roses have thorns.” Then I say, “Yes, but I think how lucky thorns are, for they have roses.”

My blessings start with that first phone call every morning to my daughter Debbie in Florida. Since it is 3 hours earlier, I start off the day on a real high. I wish every father would have a daughter like my Debbie. She is so upbeat!

Yiddish has brought me friendships from afar. Yesterday I spoke with Harold Goldstein of Fishkill, NY who turned 102 last August and is sharper than many 70 year-olds I know. He told me that at 100 he went sailing on the Hudson.

Then there are my regular Skype buddies in Winnipeg and Toronto. Sitting there in front of my screen, I feel that we are together in my living room. To this are the frequent phone calls to: New York; Washington DC area; Monroe Township, NJ; West Bloomfield, MI; Sarasota, West Palm Beach, Delray Beach, and Tamarac, (all in Florida) Phoenix, AZ; those wonderful, wonderful folks in the Cleveland area; and many in the Greater Los Angeles area.

Emails, emails, emails are my major means of hearing your wonderful stories and just shmuesing.

With a wonderful wife, Sally, my dear friends in the blind community, and those at Peninsula Sinai Congregation, my cup doth truly run over.

My severe loss of vision is a mixed blessing. I get and extra $600 tax deduction. People chauffeur me around, and there is the free bus pass.

Hey, Fishl, what about all those bad things that happen to you like everyone else?

Yes, they are challenges to be overcome. Those for which no one can do anything about are accepted just like accepting the nightfall as a time to do nothing but sleep and not being able to do exciting things.

So, my Yiddish “Gratedful Diary”, you finally got me to write in your “Book of Gratitudes”.

Remember to smile, it takes the pressure off your teeth.

Your BMI

When we were in New York City, and took the subway, we knew what the BMT was.

Who ever heard of the BMI--surely Mama didn’t.

Everyone is talking about it, and even Dr. Oz is making it a big deal. It’s your Body Mass Index.

If you are lazy and want to find your BMI the easy way, go to the website of the NHLBI (National Heart Lung and Blood Institute) http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/ To calculate your BMI, merely place your height in feet and inches and your weight in pounds in the boxes indicated and then click on compute BMI.

The BMI categories are:

Underweight - less than 18.5

Normal 18.5-24.9

Overweight 25-29.9

Obese 30 or over

If you are good in arithmetic and want to do the math yourself or do not have a computer, use the following formula: 703 x weight in pounds divided by your height in inches, squared. For example, I am 5 feet 6 inches tall and weigh 152 lbs. So 703 x 152 is 106,856. Squaring (multiplying a number by itself) 66 (my height in inches) equals 4356. Dividing 106,856 by 4356 gives my BMI as 24.53 which is okay but not great.

Doable

When was the last time you saw the word “doable“ in print? There are several synonyms in the dictionary ending in “able”.  Weinreich does not have the Yiddish equivalent for it.

My choice is “miglekh” albeit Mama hot gezogt “meglakh”.

The greatest gift that parents can give a child is confidence. “Doable” and “doubt” are so close and yet they are a world apart.

The Yiddish world is full of “ummiglekh”—impossible, it can’t be done. If Aaron Lansky believed it, the Yiddish world would not have its major bastion of Yiddish books and the greatest possible arena for growth.

So let’s let the naysayers go their merry way and let “doables” have their day.

Irene and the economy tried to put a damper on Jerry Gerger and his committee in Michigan, but when he said, “It’s doable”, the committee, speakers, entertainers, vendors and attendees all came home saying, “vunderlekh”.

Jerry, IAYC and Yiddish send you kudos and may you continue working on behalf of us all for many years to come alongside of Renee.

Itst bin ikh an elter-zeyde?

If you’ve been there ‘n done that, then you can possibly know how I feel. For those of you who still are waiting for this miracle to happen, it is indescribable.

When Melanie, my first eynikl came, I stared through the glass window in the hospital nursery. In the third bassinette was my little cherub, mama of my ur-eynikl. I became transfixed--as if in a stupor. Never having been under the influence of peyote or other drug, I can only imagine the euphoria.

So, now, my ur-eynikl, little Lyla Sophia, extends my flesh on Earth for still another generation. Perhaps she will be one of those who will help us perpetuate our mame-loshn. Perhaps she will raise a family to bring back the yidishkeyt I have known and love.

To come home from Jerry and his committee’s stirring IAYC conference in Michigan, and to get this wonderful news makes me ask, “Does it ever get any better than this?” Come share with me this blessing, un lomir ale trinken a glezele vayn.

Giving Presentations

In the process of getting ready for the IAYC conference, I went through the Yiddish theme files. One was the handouts at presentations I have made since 1990 when I became interested in Yiddish. Several titles were used in repeated presentations.

Shtetl Mayses

“Essential Yiddish”

The Jewish Storyteller

Yiddish in Our Heritage

Yiddish: Its Present and Future

Yiddish in the San Francisco Bay Area

Yiddish in America – Elderhostel Program

Sholom Aleichem Community Recognition Day = SACRED

CAJE XXIX - Yiddish in America: the Immigrant Experience

The Yiddish Language and the Culture of East European Jewry

Yiddish: Tradition Continuity and Heritage – Jewish Women International,

Biennial Convention

There is an art in public speaking. Many knowledgeable people are poor speakers. To me the best part of any session is the Q & A at the end. Here are a few hints.

Always repeat the question. You are facing the questioner and usually can hear the person. People behind the one asking the question usually cannot hear it clearly. In repeating the question ask the person if this is what the person means. If you do not know the answer, say, “I’ll find out and get back to you.” Then compliment her.

Do not let questions drag on into speeches.

People can and should disagree without becoming disagreeable. If a person disagrees, thank the person and say, “That’s an interesting point, won’t you stay for a few minutes after the program when I’ll have more time to have you explain the matter.

Never try to talk over a distraction, recognize it, and make an appropriate statement—humorous, if possible.

The Orientation Session opening up the IAYC Conferences have become a tradition and my favorite time. It’s a relaxed time to meet and greet old friends and make wonderful new ones.

Just Another Day of News

Just Another Day of News

When I took my usual morning look at the headlines on my homepage, I was again struck by the awesome and absurd mélange of news. Imagine an article about the possibility that physicists may soon be finding the Higgs boson. If found, it would be the final link in the so-called “Standard Model.” Then in the next view was the headline about a sting operation in which a female worker at a Dunkin Donut shop in Rockaway, NJ was caught for offering her services to male clients while she was working her night shift.

While my daily contacts of news in the Yiddish realm cannot match that of either one of the attention-catching news above, there is more than enough for me. Imagine in one day of being told of an exciting club program in Minneapolis, a new gig for a Cleveland klezmer group, a Yiddish lecture in the Bronx, and getting updates of our upcoming IAYC conference.

My new toy, the iPad, is still somewhat of a “black box”. The how-to of e-mail and geo-positioning with locating of various businesses is passable, but the program for making Power Point-like demos still eludes me. So a little time is spent in trying to teach myself the “how to’s”.

Most of today will be spent with plans for this weekend’s 10^th Annual Picnic in the Park for my San Mateo County Council of the Blind. It’s great with entertainment and playing bingo with large print and Braille cards.

So tell me, how are you going to make today exciting? Don’t let it be another boring and humdrum day. There is so much out there in nature, making new friends, learning new skills and most of all putting into your day a component of our beautiful mameloshn.

What I’ve Learned

Leave a legacy

Forge friendships.

Let other children play with your toys.

"Be who you are and say what you feel—

Because those that matter...don't mind...

And those that mind... don't matter."

Men are animals and women are angels.

The more you train, the more you gain.

The Golden Rule - He who has the gold rules.

Stretching is going a little more than you would otherwise.

It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.

You can't postpone living—because time can't be back-ordered.

About giving unasked for advice—don’t ask, don’t tell, and don’t think.

Success comes from High Expectations coupled with Brilliant Execution.

If you give more than you get, you’ll end up getting more than you give.

Levels of a situation: Interest – Concern – Apprehension – Anxiety - Panic

To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.

Men don’t have clean hands—they shouldn’t be allowed to touch the Torah.

Winners do what they have to, when they have to, where they have to, and how they have to, even if they don’t feel like it.

Orientation Session at IAYC in Novi – Part 1

Orientation Session at IAYC in Novi – Part 1

It’s time to think about the opening session of the conference and how to make this one even better. More or less, several topic areas will be the same, but the content will vary greatly from the past.

There should be humor inserted--with the jokes being told solely in Yiddish. The question arises as to how much translating will be necessary this time. In the past there were sufficient attendees who had a minimal vocabulary and a substantial portion had to be given in English. In future posts, the type of humor there will be a discussion of the type of jokes used. The jokes should have a learning component and need to tread lightly on the risqué ones. It is better to be on the safe side and not to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Second, is the matter of material/ideas which club members and teachers can take home to be used in their clubs/classes. Many of these will already be on websites including Der Bay.  This also will be covered in a future post here on the blog.

Third, are the wonderful naye fraynd I’ll finally get to meet and the alte fraynd fun a molike yorn. Some will be at the orientation session and others it will be in the ballroom during breakfast, lunch, and dinner meals. By sitting at different tables, it means that one can meet more people. Often we’ll make up to get together for a particular meal. It means that there will be new chances to meet and make new friends.

Finally this opening session is entitled “Orientation” and it is a chance for attendees to have a portion of time set aside for Q & A. Several new questions already have come in that will be covered. If you have any now, do let me know.

On another matter, my new iPod is unbelievable. It makes me feel that I just entered the 21^st century. Tomorrow Sally will attend the beginner’s class for folks who do not own a computer and think perhaps that at some time in the future they may have a thought of getting a Mac (not a hamburger).

Ikh gey koyfn an ipad

Ikh gey koyfn an ipad.

Fishele, vos hostu gezogt? Mama, I said that I’m going to the new Apple store on El Camino in San Mateo to buy an iPad with Wi-Fi and 3G. I’m going to meet Avner there. Last Wednesday in Yiddish class he showed and demonstrated his new iPad and I want one.

Mama, do you remember when we were on the farm and one summer we had a new couple who were boarders for the summer? Right, they had two older boys and when they went back to the Bronx in the Fall the boys left their Erector set that had some pieces missing.

It was like getting a brand new bike. We put those pieces together every time Papa wasn’t looking. Next to fishing for Sunnies in the creek, it was my best time. Well, Mama, that’s the way I feel about getting my new “toy”.

I want to learn how to use it and show it off at the Yiddish club conference in Detroit. No, Mama, it’s not dangerous. We’ll be out in the country near Detroit. It’s called Novi.

Be a Briv Fraynd

Being a briv fraynd and having a Yiddish Pen Pal is simple. You merely register on Der Bay's homepage and you will receive at least ten people with whom you can correspond in Yiddish using the Yiddish/Hebrew oysyes or in transliteration. This can be in hardcopy through the mails or as e-mail.

There are over 460 men and women all over the world who are now corresponding and many for several years. You need to rate yourself as beginner, intermediate or advanced and let us know the proficiency of the person who whom you wish to write. These criteria along with your hobbies are the bases upon which you are matched.

Briv fraynd have been registered from Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Czechoslovakia, Denmark, England, France, Germany, Hungary, Israel, Italy, Japan, Latvia, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Poland, Russia, S. Africa, Sweden, Switzerland, Turkey, Uruguay and the following states in the USA: AL, AR, AZ, CA, CO, CT, DC, DE, FL, GA, IL, IN, KS, KY, MA, MD, ME, MI, MN, MO, NC, NJ, NM, NV, NY, OH, OK, OR, PA, SC, TN, TX, UT, WA, and WI.

Using Yiddish to Fall Asleep

The advice for falling asleep is to do something that is repetitive like counting backwards by threes starting from 300. I used a variant by finding English words by using three-letter words ending with the letter “e”. Start with the middle letter constant and go through the alphabet changing the first letter. Then go back and do the next middle letter. Aae, abe, ace, ade , afe, age, … aze,  then bae, bbe, bce, bde, bee, … bze.

Here’s how I use this technique in Yiddish to fall asleep. I take the prefixes and go through the alphabet by adding a word. For example, take “tsu” and add words that start with succeeding letter of the alphabet tsubeygn, tsugeyn, tsydekn, tsuhelfn, if you can’t think of a word skip it. Can you think of a word that starts with tsu plus one starting with a vov?

Kind un Kinder

In Yiddish “kind” and “kinder” are “child” and “children” respectively.

In English “kind” means “type or form” as well as meaning “considerate”. In English “kinder” means “more considerate”.

We are starting a list of words that are spelled exactly alike in Yiddish and English but have a different meaning. We know of words that are spelled the same and have the same meaning n English and Yiddish—examples are “fish” and “finger”.

Other examples of the same spelling with different meanings include: “yam,” “hunt,” and “grin”.

How about sending in your list of words that are spelled the same, but have a different meaning.

The IAYC Conference

The International Association of Yiddish Clubs (IAYC) is unique in that it has no paid staff and is run by a Board of Directors whose sole reimbursement is for the day before the conference when they meet to plan the activities and set policy until the following conference. They do not get reimbursed for travel or get any reduction in registration for the conference.

August 26-29, 2011 will be the 14^th IAYC conference and will be held at the beautiful Sheraton Hotel in Novi, Michigan—an upscale suburb of Detroit.

Each year a Lifetime Yiddish Service Award is given. This year Anne Black will accept it for her late husband, Dr. Harold Black, who was the first IAYC president and co-chaired the first and sixth confernces.

The days are filled with attending lectures and workshops, presented by renowned men and women, browsing the vendor booths, and just shmuesing. For many, it is meeting old friends form past conferences.

Father's Day 2011

Father’s Day 2011

It’s amazing how significant the family is for humans and especially the parents. Everyone has exactly one of each sex, and their genetic transmission, partially determine our life and future. We place the highest importance on them. God and Time are referred to as, Father. Mother Earth and Mother Nature are the Mama equivalents.

As a former farmer I am constantly surprised at how we treat our letter F the sweet little fey. Notice that both Father and Family are on the highest level and yet when it comes to marks in school, we give it the lowest level. Perhaps we should reverse the order and made A failure instead of Excellent. Why should B be Good, C be Fair and D Poor? F is considered so low that we even skip the letter E to show that it is way down.

Father’s Day should be the day that dad, papa, pa, pop, foter or tate has the opportunity to thank and be thankful that he was able to play that role. Not every man is a father and not every father is worthy of that title.

If you are reading this post today, make an extra effort to give that title the respect it deserves. There is time to make amends for your shortcoming as a Father. Father’s Day is the day you should be giving the gifts and not receiving it. You have already received the greatest gift that He can give you, a child or children.

A Typical Day

What is your typical day like? It should be what is the typical day I’d like to have. Something either is broken and needs attention, someone calls and needs a favor, a health problem rears its ugly head and needs attention, and you can add yours. The only thing that is regular is my bedtime, in and out. These are 5:30-6:00am and 9:30-10pm. Naptime is about 2pm for half and hour when I can, usually 3-4 times a week.

Mornings start with phone calls. Since the East is 3 hours earlier, I call my time up to 6:30am, Midwest up to 7am. I have very few Mountain states calls. Sally and I take our blood pressure, pills and a glass of juice and a glass of water. About 3 times a week we go to the gym for an hour and come home for breakfast.

Computer time takes about 6-7 hours a day. There are the emails, to read and answer, articles for Der Bay, updating Der Kalendar on the website, working on the upcoming Yiddish Club conference, writing the blog, researching on Wikipedia, and working on the databases.

Being visually impaired means that I spend a substantial time on SMCCB activities, for I’m pres of this county chapter, and take care of the website.

Since Sally has become very active at our shul, naturally it means that I am her support staff on the computer and helping each week with preparing the very elaborate Kiddush.

We have a mixed blessing. Since all of our children and grandchildren are in NJ and FL we do no babysitting, go to no school plays, do not watch them play in ballgames, do not help them with homework, and do not celebrate holidays together. Since we have all of this free time we can do other things. That is why I call it a mixed blessing.

Wednesday night is the highlight of my week. That’s when we have Yiddish class in our home. There is a very remarkable group of men and women sitting around our kitchen table reading Yiddish articles, stories, etc. Class always starts with a short session of getting caught up with the unusual things that happened to us or in the news.

Stop and think of your days. Are you taking your retirement plans seriously? Are your hobbies an important part of your day? Do you sit around watching TV and putting on weight? Whatever it is, I hope you are enjoying it. My early retirement meant that we could come out to sunny California and I can go from hobby to hobby enjoying myself. These have been the best years of my life. Many wonderful friends and a few wonderful acquaintances.

The Good Old Days

Thank you Boris for taking me back to those so-called “good old days”.

Hand Me Downs (HMDs)

Children today think that HMDs are things taken from an upper shelf. On the other hand we Depression babies knew these were clothes that had been worn by our older brothers/sisters.

The unfortunate children were the ones where brothers wore items of their older sisters. One case comes especially to mind where a friend was given his older sister’s red rubber boots. Boys would use only brown or black. My friend had to leave the house wearing the red boots, but took them off when he got around the corner. His shoes and socks were always soaking wet. He wouldn’t stand the embarrassment from the older boys of ever wearing those red girl’s boots. He hid them in his lunch bag.

When we had a hole in the sole of our shoes, we slid in a piece of cardboard. And when that wore out, we just put in another one. Today the children just toss their tennis shoes and get another hundred-dollar pair.

In those days having your own bed was a luxury and your own bedroom was only for rich people. Even only two in a bed was considered good. What do kids today know about sleeping tsu fusns? I still can remember being awakened at night by a kick. The worst part was when one of the twins did not have his toenails cut!

Mama’s rule of the house was, “If you put it on your plate, you finish it.” Your plate was always empty at the end. If a slice of bread fell on the floor, you brushed it off kissed it and ate it. If you did that, supposedly G-d took care of the germs.

Mama always sewed the holes in socks. Today, ladies and gentlemen do you remember the last time you did it?

Remember when there were very few parts of the chicken that weren’t eaten? The neck, gizzard, (pupik) liver, heart, feet, wings, shmalts, and little yolks were all eaten.

Glatt, Glatt Kosher Eggs

In 1937 Papa bought a chicken farm in New Jersey for $5,000 and put $500 down. It had been empty all along during the Depression. After WWII he also sold real estate to "refugees" who came over and could not speak English. The Jewish Agricultural Society and HIAS financed them. Many did not last long, but there was one very enterprising fellow that had an egg route in New York.

We were selling eggs for 40 cents a dozen and he got 80 cents for kosher eggs. Since all commercial eggs are candled, not having a blood spot was normal for the trade. What made the eggs kosher was that they were not handled on shabes. That means the eggs were not gathered, cleaned, packed, transported, or sold on shabes.

For $1.20 you could have Glatt Kosher eggs. The explanation given was that chicken feed contains both powdered milk and meat scraps. The feed chickens eat is transformed into the eggs and that makes them treyf. So these chickens were fed only powdered milk.

For $1.60 you got Glatt, Glatt Kosher eggs, the top of the line. The meat scraps fed came from kosher meat.

I have long since left the farm in New Jersey and have no contacts in the New York ultra religious community. Whether this enterprising marketer has expanded or is out of business is beyond my knowledge. Perhaps someone who is currently knowledgeable can help us out.

Yiddish Storytelling

All stories and storytelling have many commonalities. They have a beginning middle and an end. This differentiates them from news reports and coverages of events.

Yiddish storytelling like all other ethnic groups is unique because of the experiences and culture they have had and continue to have.

Fishl's becoming a storyteller was predestined and his developing his style of storytelling was determined when three children were born 20 months and then 19 months apart. Putting them to bed necessitated a story. Like magic the style came when each child wanted to hear a story about another object. Each evening they changed. The range went from a fly, the eye of a needle, and a sleepy town that was on the edge of stream on the bend of a mountain; to the hair on a Shirley Temple doll, a mezuze and a crater on the moon.

Naturally as the children grew up, their requests became more bizarre.No longer does Fishl tell stories to his own children or grown grandchildren. Now as I step in and out of the Fishl-role, the stories are of people and places in the Yiddish World.

Friends tell stories--be my friend--tell me a story--it'll be in Der Bay.

How Do You Start a Yiddish Club?

I have been asked this question at every IAYC conference. Once you ask the question, you are half the way there. It means that you are interested in being part of a group that is not nearby or to your taste. Thus interest is the first requisite and you have it.

Second, you ask the same questions that a good news reporter does in his first paragraph. You answer the what, where, when, who, why, and how.

WHAT – A Yiddish club (that was easyJ)

WHERE – Here are some suggestions; JCC, Temple, Senior Center, Rec. Center, Clubhouse, Retirement home, or your home as a last resort.

WHEN – Whenever it is best for you. Get the word out for those who are interested but can’t make it at that time and ask them when they can make it.

WHO – Anyone interested in Yiddish culture or language.

WHY – Because you are interested.

HOW – This is the most important and really the question of today’s topic. Once you have a place and have decided the day and time, getting the word out successfully has much to do with your initial success. Plan something special for your first meeting. It could be a musician, entertainer, lecturer, etc. Use free publicity. Get the announcement in local papers, on bulletin boards and make calls to people whom you know and may be interested. Ask them for names of others who may be interested. That is how I started Der Bay 20 years ago.

Depending on the makeup of the group and your interest, you will determine if it will be a shmueskrayz, leyenkrayz or even a shraybcrayz. Don’t fall into the trap of your doing all the work from then on.

Finally, Der Bay has excellent material for Yiddish programs and you will then wish to have the group join the IAYC, International Association of Yiddish Clubs. Good luck and send in the info for listing in Der Bay—it’s free.

Yiddish: Basic Merchandising and Marketing

Often I am asked to help/advise on the release of a CD. DVD or book. For those like Yale Strom who is a professional at it, like Zalmen Mlotek, Zachery Berger, or Miriam Koral, etc. this is old hat.

Let's start with defining merchandising and marketing. Stop at this point and come up with your definition.

These words come from the roots merchandise and market. Thus merchandising can be thought of as everything one does in preparing the product for the market. Usually when someone comes to me they have the item already finished or nearly so. It is for the "selling" part that they want help/advice.

At this point I tell the story of what it was like dating when I was a youngster. Usually boys and girls went to dances separately. What the girls did at home preparing their hair, makeup, perfume, stockings and high heels was merchandising. When they got to the dance, the girls sat in chairs along the wall and a boy walked along and chose the girl as if he were at the library looking at a line of books. All he could see was the spine of the book--nothing about the contents. The girl that crossed her legs, smiled, and pulled her skirt a quarter of an inch above the knee was marketing. Sad to say that today girls often call boys for dates, may pay their own way, or even pay for his.

Look at the title--Yiddish: Basic Merchandising and Marketing. YBM&M 101 will come in the near future.

Only One Yiddish Choice

Often I am asked to make a recommendation and the inquirer wants only one answer—the best one. Unfortunately the correct reply is, “It depends,” and often it is a personal preference. So here are my replies with the caveat that in several cases there is more than one answer. It would be interesting to have your opinion--if it is different than the one given below. If enough replies come in, There may be an article with the tally in Der Bay’s hardcopy and also in the abbreviated edition online.

Beginner’s Yiddish Textbook – Weinreich’s College Yiddish

Yiddish Books Online –http://www.yiddishbookcenter.org/books/search

Yiddish Dictionary – Weinreich’s Modern Eng.-Yid., Yid.-Eng. Dictionary

Klezmer Bands – Ari Davidow’s Klezmer Shack http://www.klezmershack.com/

Yiddish Newspaper – Forverts - http://yiddish.forward.com/

Online Information – Mendele - http://mailman.yale.edu/mailman/listinfo/mendele

Yiddish Pen Pal – Der Bay - http://www.derbay.org/penpal.html

Yiddish Research – YIVO - http://www.yivoinstitute.org/

Song Information – Freedman Archives - http://sceti.library.upenn.edu/freedman/

Theater – National Yiddish Theater: Folksbiene - http://www.folksbiene.org/

Yiddish Club/Event – Der Bay - http://www.derbay.org/calendars/kalendar.html

Please let me know if you disagree with my first choice. I appreciate your answer. It would be great if you told me why your choice has more merit.

Yiddish and Disabled

Today the physically disabled folks have many opportunities to partake in activities within the general society. The computer has opened avenues to be part of the mainstream despite of a physical disability. On Der Bay's Yiddish website the link is: http://www.derbay.org/disabled.html

The links and information are for the visually impaired and the hard of hearing. Being politically correct means that the words we used growing up are not in vogue. I guess I'm a little old-fashioned, but I must say some of them are more favorable.

Yesterday I heard a good one. Instead of Low Income Housing, the news term is Affordable Housing. Everyone wants to live within one's means, so I guess that is a good one. A tough one is a HUMAN. We don’t want to say huwoman and I don’t think a huperson is any better.

Blog Announced

Today's the day. After a week of seeing if I would spend the time to write each night about the day's happenings, I am up to it. So out went the announcement to the online subscribers to the abbreviated edition to Der Bay and also to my Facebookers.

Because I am legally blind the amount of reading hardcopy books is nil. They do not have the sharp contrast of a monitor screen. So I download books from the National Library Service onto the digital player and listen to it. Huffington's book on blogging helped me get started.

Troim Handler called and we finished the last proofing of Harry Kamel's stories. Tomorrow I'll take them to the printer along with the cover letters and the other IAYC materials.

Jerry Kane

Jerry Kane of Toronto skyped me a short while ago and after getting caught up on news since the last time we spoke, he told me about his Yiddish column for the Canadian Jewish News. To my knowledge it's the only Yiddish column in Canada. He said it is 375-400 words and goes under the name of Yiddish Vinkl.

I mentioned that while I have contacts for The Yiddish Network in 17 major cities in Canada, I have never been able to get someone for Quebec city. He mentioned that most of the Jews remaining there are Sephardic because they are French-speaking more so than English.

I commented on his wearing shleykes (suspenders), because I also do. When it's father's day or my birthday, Debbie buys me another pair. I now have both the wide and narrow styles along with the brown, tan, and black. It is great going through the airports, for the kind she gets has plastic and not metal so they do not have to be removed when I go through the line.

Look for one of Kane's articles in a future issue of Der Bay.

Speaking on Skype

Skype is the greatest. I have only recently started to expand my skyping to include more than just my immediate family. I need to tilt my monitor so that the top is more toward me to have a better reception at the other end. It is amazing how important the background is to make it even more enjoyable. On my back wall in the office there is a Fiddler on the Roof picture that was used as a billboard for a 1994 play in Mountain View, CA.

Today I spoke with Alva Dworkin. She is publishing an unusual book that will be ready for her presentation at the IAYC conference in Novi, MI in August. Another one of these stories will be published in Der Bay in the Fall.

Boris Kopit of Rochester, NY is sending a few of his many Yiddish sayings that he has collected over the years. He has them in English, and transliteration as well as the etymology of the words. Boris is remarkable and spends quite a bit of time in Costa Rico. When he is in Rochester, he works in his business doing upholstery. Der tupitser is the Yiddish term for the upholsterer. I did not know that. Thanks Boris!

Harry Kamel

Going to the gym first thing in the morning continues to be our routine when we both are feeling well. It is great because it means being able to meet people who are far different than my normal daily contacts.

Troim Handler's friend Harry Kamel has written wonderful accounts of his days in Europe pre WWII. Troim has transliterated them and along with Harry's own English translation, we shall send them to the IAYC member clubs. Three times a year Troim prepares material that I send out to the clubs. These items make excellent material for club programs.

Contributions supporting Der Bay's hardcopy were light last month, but today we heard from Celia Gordon, Toronto, Canada; Dr. Kronenberg, Everson, WA; Maurice Rosenthal, Los Ranchos, NM; and Helen and Meyer Zaremba, Delray Beach, FL. Thank you!

While the suggested contributions have remained at chai ever since Der Bay' founding, January, 1991, our wonderful readers have added a little extra so it is working out. Any amount sent in is fine and a few send what they can afford--sometimes only ten dollars.

 The hardcopy list has remained fairly level, but the free online abbreviated edition still is growing robustly--especially the overseas group. Anyone can signup for the free edition at the homepage, http://www.derbay.org

You can get a briv fraynd (pen pal) by registering at http://www.derbay.org/penpal.html

Harvey Gotliffe

One of the marvelous rewards of being involved in the Yiddish community worldwide is the opportunity to have contact with some remarkable folks. Here is my newest friend. He Happens to live only an hour or so away and we'll be meeting for the first time this Saturday.

Here are some links Harvey sent showing his wonderful work. He will be gong to Vienna next month to represent the US in the European Maccabi games in table tennis.

One good blog deserves another so here is the link to my blog:
Ho-Ho-Kus Cogitator Blog: http://theho-ho-kuscogitator.blogspot.com/

I am also including a link to my writing on the Huffington Post at:
Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/harvey-gotliffe-phd/

To fill your "spare time," here is the link to the article I wrote in The Jewish
Magazine on our friend Chayale Ash:
http://www.jewishmag.com/138mag/holocaust_memory/holocaust_memory.html

In future posts you'll read about more of these unusual people interested in Yiddish.